Absolutely agreed. I’m certain that the 16 year old guy who coerced me into doing things when I was 14 wouldn’t consider himself a sexual abuser. Doesn’t matter how many times I said “no,” doesn’t matter how he used emotional manipulation (“if you loved me you’d do it”) and comparisons to his ex (“she never had a problem with it”) when I had zero interest. I wasn’t ready. I told him I wasn’t. He didn’t care, he just wanted his dick wet. It was normal in his eyes, and he was ready to weaponize my “prudishness” against me because he had more social clout.

Fuck rape culture. I wish he’d been taught right from wrong. I was terrified to tell anyone about what happened, expecting more shame on me for what happened. I only started talking about it years later, as an adult.