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this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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I don't know if its a lie exactly, but probably the most damaging thing was being conditioned into not defending or speaking up for myself.
I got attacked, thrown into a main road. I was told it was my fault for making myself an easy target because I was playing in some woods after school.
I so rarely ever defended myself because of how scared I was of the punishment being worse than the bruises. I used the internet to escape from it and my parents threatened to take away my PC if I ever got an after school detention. I felt like defending myself was wrong.
The only times I did defend myself was when it was extremely bad and I no longer cared about the possibility of punishment. A guy was sexually assaulting me and I punched him in the face so hard that he completely stopped, almost like his brain rebooted for a good several seconds. Then his nose started dripping blood over the floor.
Teacher was fucking furious with me. When asked why I did it I just looked at the floor and muttered "I don't know". I was probably about 14, I didn't really know what sexual assault was, like maybe if he had been ripping my clothes off? I just knew I didn't like what he was doing and wanted him to stop.