Same Impatience, Different Person — How Did You Actually Change It? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 5 hours ago by sandhu to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Do you ever catch yourself reacting to things the exact way your parents did, even when you don't want to?

I've noticed impatience and snapping at small stuff in myself lately, and it lines up with patterns I grew up around. Knowing where it came from hasn't been enough to actually stop it in the moment.

How did you actually change an inherited reaction pattern, not just understand it, but genuinely respond differently next time?

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[-] cAUzapNEAGLb@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Similar to the other commenter, its the process of advancing awareness

Unaware: impulse -> reaction
Awareness: impulse -> reaction -> processing
Guilt: impulse -> reaction -> critique reaction

^ you can get stuck here for a while making bad reactions and not being aware of the bad reactions until after doing them, the more you critique them and and accept yourself the sooner you can then transcend to

Learning:: impulse->identification of trigger->reaction-> critique

^ this is a frustrating time where you still feel like youre making the wrong reactions, but you are now aware of the trigger

Fixing: impulse->identification->response->critique

^ at this point you now know your trigger and have a number of prepped safe responses to that trigger, that are further honed until satisfied

Idk, for me it works to just nag at myself, and interrupt my thought or speech realtime when i see myself not acting how id like to, and eventually, like swirling the drain, my awareness eventually moves from after my reaction to before my response - and thats when i gain my agency back and act the way id like to

this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2026

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