Banana comments on Anon's lil bro goes through his first break up

yeah because it's weird and quirky. i knew a guy who slayed because he had a picture of himself laying in a bathtub of milk. he was also a gym bro who agonized about his deadlift and talked about it almost everytime you spoke to him.

it makes you entertaining and people want to be entertained.

now if you had been wearing a clown outfit on said unicycle... you might have had not so great results. because that would freak people out.

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

Dungeon Crawler Carl montage coming right up.....

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world -2 points 2 months ago (9 children)

statistically men with cats are not desirable. My cat died last year and my matches went way up. Lots of women who would match with me would ask me to get rid of my cat and even when who I met and dated IRL, were very hostile/suspicious that I had a cat.

You may prefer cats... but my dating experience has show me that women overwhelmingly dislike them. I also have a dog... my dog gets nothing but positive responses. Nobody has asked me to get rid of my dog or been weird around my dog when they met her.

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[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago* (8 children)

You said statistically but provided an anecdote. Is this statistically based on your experience in your specific area or do you have actual stats to back this up?

Because I've spoken to lots of women who feel the same way I do. My wonder is whether something else in your profile is attracting women who don't like cats/prefer dogs (are you extremely active possibly and are looking for somebody super outdoorsy?) perhaps or it could be a fluke, because what I've heard/experienced does not align with what you have experienced.

In my experience, the cat pic is a signal that a man understands consent since cat ownership often requires some kind of base understanding of consent lest you get mauled. Could be a regional thing though, maybe that's not a gauge people use where you are from.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/06/22/world/cat-men-dating-study-scli-intl-scn-wellness

Cats are coded as feminine. Dogs are coded as masculine. That is just how our society, in North America is. You may not agree, but you are in a minority if you don't.

I'm a straight guy that is comfortable about non-straight people, I'm also in a minority. But I understand that most folks in America are very uncomfortable around non straight people, and they view my familiarity with non-straight people as suspect that I'm not fully straight.

Don't mistake your personal preferences for those of the broader public. I also ride bike to work, and most folks are very hostile to that... and the people who aren't hostile to it are also folks who ride their bikes to work. Only 3% of people in my city commute by bike, 97% do not.

I've dated women who loved cats and had cats, and they were weirded out by me liking their cats. Because men are not supposed to like cats, women are. That was before I got my own cat, btw. Once I got a cat I got zero interest anymore from cat-owning women, only from dog-owning women and non-pet owners, many of whom made it known my cat was a 'red flag' for them.

I will get another cat. But I would rather have a cat than be in a relationship with another person who thinks me liking cats is unacceptable or weird for a man.

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[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago* (6 children)

I wish I could see more info on the study but I can't see a link in the article to the actual study.

I'm very curious to see how their sample was chosen, whether this is America-or even Colorado-specific (study was performed by the university of Colorado). I wonder what kind of distribution they have of people from different states, if at all. I mean, it was less than 1000 people so knowing what population they are testing is important, especially to my "it may be regional" suspicion.

I say this because none of this judgement about cat men being rejected because they are viewed as more feminine is familiar to me and I really truly think that this study is quite american-biased because that sounds like a lot of rhetoric that comes out of America that really doesn't bleed much into Canada.

Perhaps because Canada is a lot more LGBTQ friendly in general, people here have strayed further away from the femininity=bad rhetoric that is so ingrained in America and so women here perhaps don't see that connection as undesirable. I'm curious to see how the exact same study would play out using a Canadian population.

Could be that my province is generally really left-leaning and so maybe women here prefer feminine men, and it could be a regional thing on my side.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 point 2 months ago* (5 children)

I lived in Canada for 3 years. I did not find it at all to be more LGBT friendly. I think you are talking about the federal governments policy? I don't think the average Canadian is that much more LGBT+ than the average american. I also met plenty of conservative Canadians and I'm related to them. Plenty of Canadians I met while living there where racist, sexist, and anti-lgbt+, and I was at a liberal university.

Canada has the same rural/urban red/blue divide as does America. The conservative sexists at my uni were all from like rural Alberta, Ontario, and Manitoba. The people from BC/Quebec were all far leftists, etc. My Canadian family is from rural Ontario and is conservative AF.

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[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I'm thinking more provincially. If you lived in ON, I could see it not being more LGBTQ friendly, but I'm in MB which historically is more socially left than other provinces, save for maybe BC.

Everything is so far apart that this kind of thing varies so much across different provinces and cities or rural/metro areas.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 point 2 months ago* (3 children)

I lived in Victoria, BC. But I was meeting people from all over Canada.

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[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Well I'm sorry those you met didn't seem to be as queer-friendly as you had hoped. If you ever come to MB, feel free to shoot me a message and I can introduce you to some people that will hopefully change your experience!

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

my friend from MB left and won't ever go back because they are queer and were persecuted there... they live in Toronto now.

different strokes for different folks.

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[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 1 point 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Ok yeah y'all must've had some really bad luck meeting people or something because we have a really big queer community here. That sucks, sorry about that.

If your friend ends up having to coming back here for cost reasons or anything (hopefully they get to stay where they want), let them know that the punk/alt and the art scenes here are quite accepting. Things like the punk rock flea market are always filled with queer people.

MB can be a crapshoot tho. Rural is all trash, the City can be really good tho if you're in the right scenes. Everyone's experience is different tho I guess. Same as always.

Sorry for the derail, hope your day is nice!

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