Are friends just a form of casual entertainment? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 weeks ago by schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Are friends just supposed to be like a TV? You talk to them when it's convenient for you and you can't think of something else to do?

I've just realized all the people I thought were my friends only talk to me on their schedule, when they feel like it. I'm left on read for days, meetings are ignored, text message conversations just end abruptly until they get back from vacation....

Is this it? Is this what friendship is? Because I don't want it. I don't want to feel like I have people to rely on only to find out that I'm just a convenience for people.

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[-] bstix@feddit.dk 1 points 3 weeks ago

I cut out a lot of the social stuff, like going to a cafe or watching a movie with friends just for passing time. With a family I don't have time for that as much.

However a small group of us still get together when one arranges something more interesting, like hikes etc. to sort of give it a purpose other than just hanging out.

One of them is really good at it. Every time we show up at his place he always has some project going where he needs an extra hand to build something. More often than not we end up fixing his shit all day long without ever getting to the bowling alley or whatever the plan was. We enjoy doing these things together that actually matter more than just socializing for the fuck of it.

Try it maybe. You'll soon learn who you can rely on and work with.

We stopped inviting one guy. He constantly moaned about being put to work (and wasn't very good at it either). He was more interested in going out and using the group to cover for his own shenanigans.

The remaining group knows what's up. If shit ever hits the fan, these are the guys I'd invite into my doomsday fortress.

this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026

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