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POV: You're a woman
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this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2026
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Yup, I’m a trans woman and have dealt with this shit. I now hide under a giant hat, and try not to stand out too much.
Fuckin’ creeps, everywhere.
Why do you already have a downvote? Is that a common thing on lemmy, or is it just because anti-feminism is a core personality trait for so many men?
It’s actually quite upsetting. Good luck out there girlie.
Just a heads-up, regardless of the reason (might even have been accidental) it's not a very healthy thing to be looking this deeply into upvotes or downvotes. Some twerps are always going to downvote the most agreeable statement, or upvote the most eggregious one. Trying to jump into conclusions about why that one person might have downvoted the post is a futile waste of time that might very well make you reach conclusions that are just not grounded in reality and further dwindle your faith in humanity for no reason at all...
God forbid trans women do verbs.
Given that they only have 2 downvotes, I'd say that's just Lemmy being Lemmy. On other less confrontational topics, I usually will say some mundane comment, and still get like 1-3 downvotes. And it scales too. If you have 10 upvotes, you might get 1 downvote. But if you have 50 upvotes you might have 3 downvotes.
One time I just said "FUCK ICE!!!" and got over 100 upvotes, and 3 downvotes. So I wouldn't take these downvotes too seriously. Some people just have no life.
It could be representative of the UI and accidental voting. I’ve accidentally up/down voted something before when I tried to “navigate back”. I’m sure there have been some I didn’t catch to that would make me feel horrible to know I responded to something so blatantly incorrectly.
*she
That’s only if you’re in the boys club.
Genuinely thank you for explaining. I felt like I was going crazy for a minute there.
Wifey had to teach me that you either politely deny advances while trying your best not to bruise the male ego and hope for the best, or rudley deny advances and risk violence.
“Had to teach” is crazy. If she’s a woman it is literally impossible for her not to be aware of her social position and what that means for interacting with men. All you’ve “taught” her is to internalize the idea that the actions of those men are her fault. I’m not saying this to shame you, it’s just that society has got us all fucked up on how we think about gender dynamics. It’s our responsibility to self-reflect on these things because we ALL do it. Not just you.
Oh, sick. Thats my bad. These topics get some people, including me, a little on edge. You’re literally a woman, so you know the topic better than I do lol.
It’s genuinely unacceptable that we force people to live in these ways. Having to present more masc or stop yourself from smiling at strangers. Not to mention the ways that men suffer (albeit a fraction of what women face) under the patriarchy as well. It’s in all of our best interests to change the way we think about gender. I’m sorry that you have to go through that :/
Yeah it’s such a burden on you when other men hit on your wife. Good thing you told her to stop.
Those men would do so whether your wife was smiling or not. You’ve successfully told her to dampen her own joy.
Smiling or not smiling doesn’t stop unwanted advances. That was my point.
In my experience it does make a difference. I am in a similar position with my partner.
Smiling = men thinking you are up to talk or more 🤢
Men will also often tell women and girls to smile if they aren’t.
It doesn’t matter what women do, men will harass us regardless.
I was told to smile.
While I was wearing a face mask.
Even when it's stupid they say it!!
(He realized after a second and fucking skedaddled at least)
Ah so you can have empathy for your fellow women here, but will turn around and support calling women “bitches” otherwise?
Yikes.
Yeah. That’s me. Got it in one. I’m a dense, complicated character.
I even upvoted you cause of how accurate you are.
What's all this about?
Ran into this same user in another thread defending a man calling women “bitches”.
I found the contrast between their support here and their views there interesting.
Hello, I’m Tanis Nikana (she/her), I’m a photographer, a stand-up comic, a lesbian, and I try to do alright in the world.
This is who you’re talking to, trying to pick apart my views on the word “bitches,” which are complex and nuanced.
It’s nice to meet you!
Did I say something that was untrue?
I do find your defense of calling women “bitches” more interesting after seeing your comments in this thread.
Oh, I was just introducing myself. Now you know who I am! I’m bitches.
lol you’re clearly not just introducing yourself when you take such a defensive stance on my opinion that “bitch” is a slur that has a time and place.
Velma, what do you want?
You replied to my comment, what do you want?
I want the Thai food I just ordered, should be here in a moment.
But as for you and me, we’re two people with conflicting opinions on the word “bitches.” Both of us are presumably leftist and our ballots would likely be identical.
Good talk.
EDIT: hell yeah
I agree and I thought we had agreed to disagree otherwise.
That does sound curious. Makes me curious of the context as well. They sound pretty level headed from the comments here, so I'm hoping it's a misunderstanding.
The context was it was a shitpost about a lesbian who's never been kissed, and no one knew OP's gender, so Velma was assuming that while trying to manufacture outrage on a shitpost.
Meanwhile Tanis was basically self-identifying as "bitches," and Velma seemingly contradicted her own stance that it might be okay for women to "reclaim the slur" by shaming Tanis for being okay with using the term.
It was pretty convoluted, but ultimately there seemed to be no point and it gave the vibe that Velma was just looking for a moral pedestal to grandstand on...
Thanks for that seemingly objective explanation.
Overall the person seems level headed and sincere in her feminist beliefs so I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt that it was either a misunderstanding or a temporary lapse in judgement. I know I've been misunderstood before on here, and had temporary lapses in my own judgement.
Some people mean well but are very quick to jump to confrontational mode, and assume the worst interpretation in what everyone says. I know a person like that. It can be very exhausting talking with them because you have to watch your words all the time, even when we share the same value framework... They just want to crush every single grain of the patriarchy so badly, and I get it. But sometimes it can get in the way of just normal conversation and banter.
The context is that velma is a cantankerous (possibly troll) account.
Just a crotchety, cantankerous woman with strong opinions about equality.
It doesn't seem like a troll account to me. Seems like she's just a very vocal feminist, strongly opinionated, and admittedly a confrontational person. But level headed and classy, still. They seem to just absorb insults into some kind of void. Quite impressive, actually. I didn't scroll very far into their comments, but a few pages gave me these impressions.
I got no issues, no qualms.
I think you’re right. About it not being a troll. The rest of your comment is very generous.
I like to be generous. 🙂