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this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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Asklemmy
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what i'm getting at is, your social disguise is going to mostly be effective on people who rely on appearances to judge the interior quality of things (including people). You will turn away high quality people who can see through your disguise, and to retain around you people who either can't tell between you and the mask or don't care. It's a good survival strategy but not a good way to find deeper, worthy relationships.
If i wanted to be a little more cryptic and spooky about it i'd say something like 'there is no 'real' you under the masks, it's just masks on top of masks all the way down, the stack of masks in a literal sense is the reality of you.'
Lol, "high quality people", that's inventing classes & intolerance where it's not needed.
So if I speak a language the other party doesn't know (even tho I know their language & can speak it) I'll be able to get a good thing going?
Social disguise does not exclude being completely honest. That is a separate thing!
Also you think ppl are dumb & can't differentiate between social masking & what the words that I'm speaking mean?
I connect well with ppl listening to the meaning I try to convey, it's way harder with ppl that take your social vibe into consideration (bcs now I have to modulate that as well as my words to get the same meaning across).
The "disguise" as you call it isn't a secret, it's meant to be understood & looked-through. That's how all deeper relationship work bcs even what you would call "no disguise" (which imho isn't a thing bcs we learn cultural norms, we aren't born with them) works just as a disguise bcs the limits of communication are just so vast.
i think we are in agreement