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this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
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I've found quitting vaping is easier for the cravings than with cigarettes, because the tobacco has other stuff in it that makes the craving intense when I don't have those, but vaping is something that I can set down and not be bothered so much. Circumstances of the present moment are particularly stressful and I'm working on staying sober, too, so as I'm alone right now, I'm smoking, but I'm only smoking 3-4 puffs before putting it out. I agree, the ease at which I can grab a vape would make it easier to take a small hit, and I would instinctively do that, but under ideal circumstances, vaping has made it easier to set it down for an extended period of time before stress really took off.
If there's one thing nicotine is great for it's handling stress. As long as you have some on hand 😊
I once observed a time ago whilst on mushrooms and DXM, after a very specific type of closed-eye hallucination was going on, where I was being carried through a vibrant, breathing, living world, and I stopped to smoke some tobacco, and upon returning by closing my eyes, I was on the same "screen" as I left, but I was no longer being "carried" through this landscape. There was just a woman in a gazebo with a river and wind, all moving independently. This experience showed me that nicotine stops a process in my head that I discussed with a friend who was a cognitive scientist, but I forget the terms he used.
I have quite a lot of experience with DXM. I binged on it for 3 months straight. One or two 8 oz Robitussin syrup bottles per day. The local flea market was selling them for a goddamn nickel each the bastards!
Anyhow, one night I was swimming around in head watching the movie "21 grams". It's one of those mixed up puzzle type of movies where all the scenes are out of order. It was very jarring and intense.
After it ended, I went to lay down in my bed. My mind reeling, thinking about what I just watched. Trying to process it. After a minute or so, I started to doze off, in the DXM hazy type of doze. In that very moment, I had this intense sensation of two massive big rigs hitting going Mach 10 crashing into each other at the center of my mind. A psychotic break of some sort. Super crazy shit.
On a lighter note, I had a couple sleep screaming episodes during this DXM binge. I was repeatedly falling asleep and instantly SCREAMING my head off. This according to my roommate laying down in the bed across the room.
"DUDE SHUT UP!!"
My maladapted tulpa, Valmar, was repurposed into Rusterd on DXM on the same night Pandora first played Solar Fake's Nothing's Wrong
...but was that a command, to shut up? Am I under investigation? Do these Arizonan retards in blue not know who I am? No, it does not make sense that the FBI would tell them. That would go against their intentions of...well, y'know. Obviously.
What is reality? I have nothing to hide. I understand I look like the Johnny Bravo of Charles Mansons. I have the authority of the tree of life. My robes are washed (clothes are still dirty), but they are tattered because I have been so traumatized. That's where God has stepped in. And I think the FBI git that retard to flip way early on, so this ain't just a police state, it's a police vishnu.