this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
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I have to get a colonoscopy and now I want the doctor to do this. Either this or do a Jacques Cousteau impersonation as ventures into the depths.
Yes.
they always do while you're under anesthesia
How do you know?
It's part of the package when you request a copy of the recording. You get to pick an impersonation of either Jacques Cousteau, Morgan Freeman, Werner Herzog, or Johnny Sins to narrate the procedure.
When I came to the Johnny Sins I spitted my drink.
Wait where do they offer Herzog?
Under the soft narcotic fog of sedation, the patient realizes that all human ambition. Every empire, symphony, and love affair. Ultimately leads to this, a stranger navigating the bleak pink corridors of one’s lower bowel in search of polyps.
Mine doesnt offer Herzog.
That sounds hilarious - Damn, maybe I should've gotten sedated...
not available for sedation, only for total knockout with intubation
So a French who is obsessed with buttholes until the very end?

Too soon?