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(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 29 May 2026
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If a complete stranger reaches out for help, do it. Your future self will thank you.
I've run into too many scams for this to work for me. It's highly situational. If I can verify that they genuinely are in need of help, I'm all for it. But if a random person walks up to me and says they need money for a train ticket/gas/whatever? Nope.
Yeah a stranger walking up to you and asking for money is a bit different from this
You're right. In this case, it's easy to see that helping was the right thing to do. There are many possible scenarios where offering help is good. There are also many situations where offering help makes you a mark, or, in the worst case, threatens the safety of yourself or people you care about. That's why I say it's highly situational. Many variables to take into account.
We saw two ladies trying to take a car wheel off one night so me and the boys jumped out the car to help them out, we took the wheel off the car and they said they would be back once repaired and said thanks as they jumped in another car and drove off.
Then we realized the two other wheels on the other side of the car were missing and we had just helped them finish stealing someone's wheels
that's funny as fuck (not for the person who lost their wheels)
A three wheeled car?
from what I remember they either left one or it had a spare on that spot
I think they were down to one at that point.
The easy litmus test is to offer to buy them the thing they want.
But I've given money to panhandlers twice. First guy said, "hey man, do you got any change? [N-word] needs to get drunk."
The second time was a group of guys scrounging for change in their car because they were trying to get a dime of weed.
This is very true.
When I worked downtown and being asked for money was common, my rule was to ask them what it was for and then offer to buy it for them. More often than not, they'd decline or walk away when you made it clear you weren't giving money but would buy what they needed... food, bus tickets, gas, whatever. A couple times I returned with their requested food and they were gone, but I just gave it to someone else that always was really happy to get it. Most that took me up on the offer were genuinely grateful and so expressive in their appreciation, and I got a few entertaining stories out of it too.
He sat down and walked through replacing a starter with the kid. Worst case scenario he just taught a kid that he can work on his own stuff even if he doesn't have to.
Yes, in this case helping was clearly right. All I'm against is the belief that you should always offer help. In many cases (not all, or even most), that just makes you a mark. Though if you personally would rather risk getting taken advantage of than risk denying someone in genuine need help, that's up to you.
yep. same.
i have had friends and girlfriends, try to scam me, and when the scam didn't work a couple of them straight up stole.
must be nice to live in a world where you haven't been scammed and think there are no bad people out there. stranger or not.
Bro, that's free dopamine and I'll take it. I recall someone stopping me and asking for help with changing a flat because they didn't have a lug wrench. I didn't have the time to stop and help but I told them they were in luck because I just so happen to have a universal lug wrench in the trunk and they could have it, they wanted to pay for it and my broke college student ass could use it but there is more dopamine in giving then selling haha.
I've taken to telling them that someone else helped me out, and I'm just trying to pay it forward, with interest. If they can pay it forward in future, I would be very happy with them continuing the chain.
You still get the dopamine of a good deed, they feel like they can pay you back by passing it on. If they don't, no harm done. If they do, your good deed just got amplified to some other poor sod's benefit. It might even loop back!
Eh, depends. For example, where I live there's a trend of people approaching you asking for information, before carefully pivoting into asking money to buy food. And if you buy them food then and there (under their eyes so they can choose what they want and make sure it's not poisoned), they'll turn the corner and throw it away. Helping strangers isn't always something your future self will thank you for