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On the seventh day, god created uranium (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 day ago by favoredponcho@lemmy.zip to c/science_memes@mander.xyz
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[-] Kacarott@aussie.zone 8 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure it was weirdly complicated, like

  1. Jesus comes down
  2. All the dead believers are brought back to life
  3. All believers are taken to heaven
  4. Non believers are left on earth doing their own thing
  5. 1000 years later, Jesus comes back to earth, raises everyone else back from the dead, then burns everyone/everything
  6. Jesus moves heaven back to earth, which is now perfect

... Or something like that? Hard to tell which parts I got taught and which parts I hallucinated in a fever at some point

Edit: I looked it up and I am shocked at how well I remember it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventh-day_Adventist_eschatology#Eschatological_events

[-] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 1 points 4 hours ago

sooo zombie apocalypse is started by zombie jesus as a prelude to the rapture? are we at zombie apocalypse 1 or 2?

this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
514 points (98.9% liked)

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