In that case it might be more constructive to say "There is no place that's good for just meeting people. You need to appear to want something else."

But even then (and that is how I make all of my non-work friends), I'm told it is uncouth to ask women out at these locations at all, as they just want to enjoy their hobby like everyone else, and there is legitimacy to that I completely understand that feeling and the last thing I'd want to do is make anyone uncomfortable. "But if she's giving you signals-" or is she just being nice? Probably just being nice, safer to assume that than act on it and now everyone at the card table thinks I'm creepy and I have to find new friends.

Really tbh the best part is the assumption "oh you have trouble finding a committed relationship? Must be because you literally do absolutely nothing and have no hobbies at all, you're probably the only one who has figured out stasis." Like what do you think I just go into a coma? Sure work and sleep takes up a good majority of my time like anyone else but then after that I simply cease to exist until my next shift?

I'm also gonna go ahead and push back on the whole "give up" thing (and don't let me fool you, I have given up lol, but), women do not make the first move most of the time, if I expect to get any dates I'm gonna have to be the one to ask. Literally only one woman has ever asked me out (and I said yes I'd love to, and she short circuited and walked away without another word like "cool does Friday work for you" or any of the normal things you or I might say to a yes.) I have followed the "give up" advice but that doesn't mean I'm expecting to actually find love this way, I'm expecting to die alone and get eaten by my cats, I just hope I can provide them enough sustenance they can get rescued when my neighbors start smelling my body. Not exactly romantic but it's easier than dealing with the current dating climate (which everyone acknowledges is a nightmare until a guy says it, then he's an incel.)

And even if you've given up, looking forward to that future can still make you sad, you're still allowed to want to love and be loved, such is the human condition.

Is it because presumably people aren’t there to socialize? Are people there to be in their own head working out and pushing themselves?

Yes and yes.

Not gonna lie I don't go to gyms either lol, I'm not sure myself. Though tbh sometimes people do socialize there from my understanding, there's classes people will do together like yoga and stuff, and in some of those there's some socialization I think. And in the case of the homosexual community, apparently quite a bit, the Equinox saunas in NYC at least have a reputation of being a popular cruising spot.

As far as why I'm under the impression that you're not supposed to, women complain about it a lot, and getting asked out anywhere else too. It seems the general consensus is the only acceptable places to directly speak to a woman without an intermediary are on hook up spyware apps and at the bar. Failing that, "get a hobby and try to make friends, then beg/hope those new friends set you up with someone." "Go to the gym" is often still given as bad advice because it used to be acceptable but I think those must be olds behind the times or gay men, because those days are gone.

"Get a hobby" has it's own problems, first of all it's just as outdated as the gym (which to many is a hobby but ignore that), second it assumes you must not have any hobbies if you're single which frankly is a baffling line of thought to me lol.

A) Assumes anyone single ceases to exist when not working. It's absolutely insane to think "no gf, must be no hobby of course." It's more likely one's hobbies just haven't led to a romantic partnership.

B) Is possibly the millineal version of gen x's "gym" and boomers' "grocery store," women often say they don't want to be asked out there either.

C) Then the advice isn't "get a hobby," it's pray your friends set you up with anyone.