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We appreciate her (thelemmy.club)
submitted 4 months ago by [M] to c/Couplememes@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 10 points 4 months ago (7 children)

I agree with there not being anywhere else. But their suggestions isn't "go and start hitting on random people there", it's "go spend time there, make friends or at least make your face familiar, then you'll start hanging out with people or possibly date".

If people just started hitting on anyone everywhere then most people won't want to go to those places.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    But even then (and that is how I make all of my non-work friends), I'm told it is uncouth to ask women out at these locations at all, as they just want to enjoy their hobby like everyone else, and there is legitimacy to that I completely understand that feeling and the last thing I'd want to do is make anyone uncomfortable. "But if she's giving you signals-" or is she just being nice? Probably just being nice, safer to assume that than act on it and now everyone at the card table thinks I'm creepy and I have to find new friends.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    The secret here is to not listen to the faceless crowd about never asking people out or whatever. Don't be pushy but ultimately we have to talk to people in public if we're sincerely interested, even if they "might" (who knows?) not want to be approached. Just have to accept if they reject, and move on.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

    I'm never pushy that's for sure, always accept no for an answer. Like I said barely even give them the chance to say no cause I don't ask lol. (That sounds bad, ykwim dammit!)

    Maybe you're right though, I should be less hesitant. Still hate to upset people if it can be avoided though.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Don't get me wrong, I need to take my own advice more often, but here it continues: You can't just worry about people getting upset if you try to talk to them. If they get upset, and you didn't even physically touch them or pressure them to do anything, it's probably not your fault (although could reflect on what to do different next time if you want) but that's when to just move on. People "could" get upset about anything in the world. Don't be forever alone because of the possibility of your existence upsetting someone

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