We gotta look out for each other in the age of misogyny

That line is arguably worse.

It makes it clear what the random girl is trying to do, and allows the girlfriend to reply with anything from “not yet, let’s take a break over there” to “yeah I’m ready let’s go”.

How many times have you thought of the perfect response to someone hours after the fact?

It’s good that she stepped in to offer help at all.

"Hello my dear friend, your excessively muscular husband is outside asking for you. They won't let him in on account of the firearms he is carrying. Oh hello fine sir, I did not see you there, pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm an heiress of the McDonald laminate empire (no relation hahaha), and have a black belt in karatay, charmed I'm sure. We know each other (pointing at the woman)."

I prefer this because it makes the physical threat more present and believable (and doubly so, bc of the inclusion of the black belt) while also establishing personal dominance.

That sounds much less organic and believable.