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The new adult life (thelemmy.club)
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[-] Ogy@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Sure! Big cities can be super isolating, especially if you:

  • don't drink
  • don't enjoy clubbing
  • don't drink coffee
  • don't play or enjoy sports
  • live in one of the 'less desirable' areas, due to living costs or proximity to work.

Even when some of these weren't true for me, people who are well established in large cities generally have well established social groups and, although they might be lovely people and very welcoming, aren't really in the market for proper friendships. Those who are also new to the city like you are very prone to move on themselves within a year or so.

Conversely, people in rural areas are simply desperate for friends. Within 2 months of moving to the country, we had different 2 couples who made it clear they wanted to give being friends a proper go - simply because they are desperate and we seem like we're on a similar vibe. There's definitely much less variety in sports, especially high level stuff, but conversely (as you said) we now have much easier access to great hikes/day walks. People here are also significantly more likely to be interested in gardening, pickling, jam making, bread making - all the self-sufficiency stuff. Much less of a "grindset" which can be super exhausting. Oh! People in rural areas also seem to be more likely to like board games, which my partner loves.

Don't get me wrong, I love big cities - the amazing food, the great public transport (I LOATHE driving), the culture and events. Everything has pros and cons though.

this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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