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I guessed
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this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
490 points (96.4% liked)
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To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we'd also have a lot fewer children around.
Venison salami IS delicious.
I'm here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.
With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.
Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They're real assholes.
They solve many problems such as:
People who jog in the road Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised Irritating children left outside/unsupervised Too many deer Humans that lack common sense Humans that cannot run fast Humans that are taking out their trash Porch pirates Caribbean Pirates Door to door solicitations Religious folks
If you're willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.