I was in the bathroom of a BedStuy bar in February, doing my thing, when I heard a loud banging on the door.

"Be out in a sec" I said, figuring it was just some drunk.

A second later the lock is picked. Virgil, puffing on a Juul in defiance of local law, steps in. I start to say "what the fu . . . .", but he cuts me off by blowing his mango vape in my face, along with what smelled like halal cart meat. "Shut up, you lepton" he said, then took out his keys and took a large bump of cocaine. As he replaced them his portable bidet fell from the interior pocket of his cheap blazer. He looked at me again with scorn in his eyes and said "Are you gonna sit there peeing out your doo-doo ass all night?".

At this point I was getting mad, but as I started to speak he just said "what? What?" loudly as I did. By that time the bartender had come to see what the problem was - before I could say a word Virgil said "hey man, this junkie was shooting up in here, call the cops".

I was thrown out, and my credit card was left behind at the bar. The worst part was the next day there were 14 Cape Cods and 4 Brandy Alexanders charged to it.