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this post was submitted on 08 May 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Answer to all those questions is that they're magical fictional creatures.
I mean there is that, but at least to some extent fiction has rules, though it's worth pointing out most broadly, that's the issue with popular frequently re-imagined things, as every lore has it's own complete seperate set of rules. Rules are added, removed, changed etc... for every re-interpretation. Zombies could be cursed, magical or maybe semi-realistic scientific explanation. Same problem if you try and explain vampires, as obviously the classic lore they need to be invited in, can be defended from by throwing rice on the ground, cannot cross running water, weak to sun, can't have reflections, only killable with a wooden stake, or supernaturals vampires that can only be decapitated and lack most of those weaknesses, or twilight where the sun makes them glittery.
Oh, no doubt - there's plenty of rules for zombies too. It's just that you can't apply real-world logic to a zombie apocalypse because the only way for one to be feasible is if we first accept a few impossible claims and don't question them.
Zombies are dead by definition, so no heartbeat. They don't get thirsty or hungry - they eat flesh but not to survive, it's just instinct. They don't freeze or overheat, they rot really slowly, they can't communicate, run, climb, or swim. They can't bleed out, suffocate, or be poisoned. The only way to kill one is by destroying the brain. Why? Well, because that's the rules we all agreed on the moment we start seriously discussing zombies.
agreed there, though where I'd say further it's about rules internal consistency as well. IE obviously just about every fictional monster has a complete disregard of science, though some more than others can stick to the rules set out in the fictional world.
hey, we've only had RFK in charge for a year, be patient.
The dude has a worm in his brain and scavenges roadkill on the regular. Are we sure he’s not a zombie?
Not quite. Zombies are the result of a bocor's curse or ritual (voodoo black magic). They are real, to a point. They were drugged and had some psychosomatic responses to the curse. I think they're originally from Haiti, I think, but trace their roots back to the Yourba religions.
They later got picked up by fiction and then turned into mainly biological causes instead of curses.