One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at the local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again! Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I'm at the mall a week later and I run into him and he's buying another cat. I says to him "Jesus, Walt what are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass too, why don't you knock it off!". And says to me "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

My Cousin was a weird guy.