But I wasn't doing any of that.

You were, whether or not admitted it, or were even aware of it.

That's how you're perceiving me.

Yes, because what you presented is what I have to go with.

I don't understand why you think I'm trying to impress people

Because what you presented so far was a cascade of trying to impress people.

I'm just trying to warn people about mistakes I've made in my own life.

"Mistakes" presented in a "Today I Fucked Up" Reddit humblebrag format.

It's strange also because this is the same shit maga people do to me.

"DAE BOTH SIDES" rhetoric detected!

I don't understand the enticement of ideology.

Willfully ignoring your own ideology doesn't mean you're free of it. It means you are more susceptible to it.

I guess I'm kind of nihilistic that way

Which is also an ideology.

https://existentialcomics.com/comic/125

(I understand the paradox of not understanding ideology being an ideology...)

At this point I doubt you actually do.