this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
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ADHD

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I take Ritalin 10mg on a needs basis since I generally have functioned 'alright' into adulthood.

Just took one to get some work done today and it still amazes me how normal I feel about doing work once I'm medicated. Like there's no massive hurdle to even starting. No massive reluctance and task paralysis to fight.

Coming from a whole week where I've been procrastinating on whatever isn't urgent, suddenly it's so easy to just... do.

I also get incredibly chatty (hence the post, lol), but yeah. I can't imagine how life changing it must be for people who struggle even worse with executive dysfunction.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I agree. Society was not built upon accomodating the neurodivergent, and we've had to struggle a lot as a result. I've also thought about it a lot as well, so there's nothing wrong with that.

I spent a lot of time growing up wondering why I wasn't "normal", like everyone else. I grew up unable to socialise well with my peers and unable to keep up academically with the demands of my academic environment. I was always struggling to stay awake in class, or focus on a subject I desperately needed to learn. I had to drop out of the sciences because I was struggling horribly and my teacher treated me quite badly for my lack of ability to keep up.

I wonder now if I could've done better if my parents were aware of ADHD and had gotten me the help I very desperately needed, because my mother is still in denial to this day that I'm anything but normal, only lazy, selfish and inconsiderate. I was called a lot of horrible things because of things I couldn't control. I developed depression, but frequent therapy and counseling as of late has reduced how intense the mood swings are.

So, given a choice, I likely would've wished to be more normal in my own eyes.

When I went into university and met incredibly accepting and loving people, I really thrived. It's just sad that many like us have to struggle undiagnosed for such a long time, only to realise that with medication, managing our shortcomings would have been made so much more achievable.

I still spend a lot of my time unmedicated because I've come to accept and love myself, including the ADHD diagnosis that I got on my own last year. The diagnosis helped me find mechanisms that actually work for me, and I'm better off for that.

I am no less of a person in my own eyes, but the judgement of a society is a lot of weight to bear.