This is what I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

For those who cannot afford therapy right now:

Thoughts shape our emotions, and in turn, our emotions drive our behavior.

Therefore, to combat problematic behavior, one must:

1. Identify the facts of the problematic behavior; then,
2. Identify the emotions driving our behavior; then,
3. Analyze and challenge the thoughts behind the emotions.

We do this because many of the thoughts driving our emotions are not accurate and have to be challenged. These false thoughts are known as cognitive distortions.

Worksheet.