hiiiiii communists who live in my pc, do any of you know how to cook?
i don't. at all. a few days ago my roommate taught me how to scramble an egg, and i had never had broccoli or cauliflower or (most other vegetables ๐) until he let me try some of his, so that's approximately where i'm at with food knowledge. given that i'm clueless and live with several people in a completely open plan house, i try to avoid cooking anyway because i'm constantly being watched in the kitchen and people are making their little comments. BUT work is sending me traveling so i have a kitchen all to myself for 2 weeks and an affordable supermarket about 10 minutes walk away. i plan to use this time to try to learn a bit <3
the only problem is that i have absolutely no clue where to start. i can make rice and boil pasta and that's about it. do any of you have recipes that are accessible for a noob and will help me grind my skill up? 
or any idea of places online for my situation?
i have no dietary restrictions and i'm open to trying pretty much anything once. i'm just confused and every recipe i click on online seems to be some artisan shit that needs 2 hours and tools and ingredients i've never heard of
Of everything everyone has suggested, I suggest: all of them. You're cooking for a lifetime and are not charged with coming up with the one true dish that will rocket you to the stratosphere. Taking suggestions from internet chefs, internet randos and your own mind will all improve your skills.
Of course, I have to add my own:
Very easy mode is to add spices to things that barely qualify as recipes. Habanero pepper in your ramen.
Easy is to add cheese. Ramen (or if you want to step up your game, udon) is still a good starting point. A great ramen variant is to use less water and boil it off until you have a cheesy ramen patty.
Then we have eggs. I don't measure things, so you'll want to mix 2-3 eggs, a decent chunk of cheddar chopped up, and cayenne pepper in a bowl. Heat a pan, throw some butter in and when it's melted, throw your bowl in and stir. You can't overstir scrambled eggs, but you can overcook them. Remember that if the eggs look done in the pan, they'll be overdone on your plate.
Then we have salads, pretty much as low-stakes as you can get but they'll give you a sense of what you like. One thing I really appreciate from corporate salad bars is that everything is already prepared and you can just throw in whatever you want, so if you have the budget, I'd suggest starting with something similar; prep your veggies and combine as you like without having to do any further prep. Remember that there are no salad judges watching over your shoulder. A pile of leaves is a salad. A pile of leaves with dressing is a salad. A pile of leaves with dressing and store-made croutons is a salad. At some point, and there are simple salads where we're almost there, you'll have a salad you can recommend to others. Mine tended to be baby spinach, bell peppers, artichoke hearts, cucumbers, red onions, croutons and some sort of creamy dressing.
Of course, of course . . .
You have to have a bean dish or seven. I'm actually a little worried about posting my recipe here because the odd numbers involved might just uniquely identify me, but I doubt the feds will kick down my door for an ingredient listing: beer,
, habanero peppers with seeds and ribs removed, a lot a lot of cumin, garlic, green onions, poblano or bell peppers, tomatoes (skinned and cored or just get a jar), served over fritos with sour cream, the green bits of the green onions and shredded cheese.
Finally, taste as you go.