hiiiiii communists who live in my pc, do any of you know how to cook?
i don't. at all. a few days ago my roommate taught me how to scramble an egg, and i had never had broccoli or cauliflower or (most other vegetables ๐) until he let me try some of his, so that's approximately where i'm at with food knowledge. given that i'm clueless and live with several people in a completely open plan house, i try to avoid cooking anyway because i'm constantly being watched in the kitchen and people are making their little comments. BUT work is sending me traveling so i have a kitchen all to myself for 2 weeks and an affordable supermarket about 10 minutes walk away. i plan to use this time to try to learn a bit <3
the only problem is that i have absolutely no clue where to start. i can make rice and boil pasta and that's about it. do any of you have recipes that are accessible for a noob and will help me grind my skill up? 
or any idea of places online for my situation?
i have no dietary restrictions and i'm open to trying pretty much anything once. i'm just confused and every recipe i click on online seems to be some artisan shit that needs 2 hours and tools and ingredients i've never heard of
A lot of the difficulty in learning to cook is that you simply need to know the ingredients. You need to know how to prep it, how it changes as you cook it, and develop an intuition for when you need to adjust the recipe because very rarely are you ever going to follow a recipe word for word and a lot flat out lie about cooking times and expect you to have a basic level of knowledge already. It feels like a lot, because it IS a lot.
My partner was in a similar situation when we first met. She hadn't eaten or heard of a lot of ingredients and got stressed out when I tried to watch or help. A big help for her was to use a meal service, like Blue Apron or Factor. They come with very accurate recipes and all the ingredients are partially prepared and portioned, so no shopping and you have everything you need. I know it doesn't help with the two week period you have, but when you're back home and if it's in your budget it could be something to look into that could really help.
Just remember that learning anything is a process though. You're going to make some burnt or nasty food sometimes, but don't let it discourage you!
Edit: I asked my partner if she would have liked to have done anything different knowing what she knows now and she still recommends using the meal service. She said that specifically a lot of recipes expected you to know what "small dicing an onion" or "mince two cloves of garlic" meant and was supposed to look like, but they included accurate pictures of what they looked like prepped and that it was very helpful to make sure you had everything right before you even started cooking while also working on your knife skills (which is equally as important for cooking and also having it not take an obnoxiously long time).
She also mentioned that since you have roommates, you might be able to gift a week or two of free referral meals to each other to essentially get a month or two of free meals between all of you. It's been a few years though and I'm not sure exactly if that's changed over the years.