hiiiiii communists who live in my pc, do any of you know how to cook?
i don't. at all. a few days ago my roommate taught me how to scramble an egg, and i had never had broccoli or cauliflower or (most other vegetables ๐) until he let me try some of his, so that's approximately where i'm at with food knowledge. given that i'm clueless and live with several people in a completely open plan house, i try to avoid cooking anyway because i'm constantly being watched in the kitchen and people are making their little comments. BUT work is sending me traveling so i have a kitchen all to myself for 2 weeks and an affordable supermarket about 10 minutes walk away. i plan to use this time to try to learn a bit <3
the only problem is that i have absolutely no clue where to start. i can make rice and boil pasta and that's about it. do any of you have recipes that are accessible for a noob and will help me grind my skill up? 
or any idea of places online for my situation?
i have no dietary restrictions and i'm open to trying pretty much anything once. i'm just confused and every recipe i click on online seems to be some artisan shit that needs 2 hours and tools and ingredients i've never heard of
Stick with breakfast items and following the instructions. Go buy the Test Kitchen Cook book.
Cooking is easy man. Just follow the recipes.
Cooking is NOT easy and most recipes are frankly bad or lazy and expect you to have a certain skill level. If you don't know enough already to know how to vet which ones are good then it's going to be difficult and overwhelming.
I agree that breakfast items are a good starting place, but please don't try to downplay how much knowledge and work goes into making successful dish. That's just going to lead to frustration.
Maybe don't put down and call someone genuinely asking for help a moron???
I'm glad it's a skill that's come easy to you. Not everyone has had your experiences though and not everyone was taught the basics. Fuck off with that attitude when someone is just trying to better themself.
And actually follow them. Recipes are literal. If it asks to use sea salt, you have to use sea salt. If it says 1 cup of sugar, it means one cup of sugar and you don't cut all the ingredients in half thinking the recipe will be the same, only smaller. If it says to bake, you don't try and grill it. Too many people think they can alter a recipe when they don't have an ingredient or the equipment. If that's the case, look for a different recipe.
The more you cook, the better you'll get at understanding the chemical process and will be able to alter recipes.