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[–] 55 points 10 months ago (1 child)

Noem: It's a war zone out there! It's crazy!

Them: What do you mean? People are shooting at each other? Bodies in the streets?

Noem: They won't let us pee in their restrooms!

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  • [–] 31 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Well did the ICE agents submit to gender checks first, to make sure they’re using the correct restroom? A copy of their birth certificate should suffice.

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  • [–] 13 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Not good enough we also have to do a manual inspection. Michael testicletickler is going to be doing the inspections. Dont let the name worry you though, he doesn't tickle testicles only fingers buttholes.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    What a great job! Do you need a college degree for that?

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Actually having a degree prohibits you from getting the job.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I'll pad my resume by leaving off my college degree. What are they going to do, call every college in America and see if I graduated? Hah! I got this job in the bag.

    I better order some fresh lube. I heard Diddy is selling his old lube on Craigslist.

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