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[–] 124 points 10 months ago (7 children)

On Sunday, DHS Secretary Kristi Noem told Fox News that Chicago was a "war zone" where her agents were not welcome to use restrooms.

Good. They should not feel welcome ANYWHERE they go; no comfort, no peace, to the enemy.

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  • [–] 55 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Noem: It's a war zone out there! It's crazy!

    Them: What do you mean? People are shooting at each other? Bodies in the streets?

    Noem: They won't let us pee in their restrooms!

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  • [–] 31 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Well did the ICE agents submit to gender checks first, to make sure they’re using the correct restroom? A copy of their birth certificate should suffice.

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  • [–] 13 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Not good enough we also have to do a manual inspection. Michael testicletickler is going to be doing the inspections. Dont let the name worry you though, he doesn't tickle testicles only fingers buttholes.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    What a great job! Do you need a college degree for that?

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Actually having a degree prohibits you from getting the job.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I'll pad my resume by leaving off my college degree. What are they going to do, call every college in America and see if I graduated? Hah! I got this job in the bag.

    I better order some fresh lube. I heard Diddy is selling his old lube on Craigslist.

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  • [–] 20 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Something, something - Third Amendment?

    I’m not an American - but I’m pretty sure the 3rd basically means that they can (and should) be refused service freely by anyone and everyone who wants to?

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  • [–] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    No, the 3rd amendment means your house/apt can't be turned into a barracks.

    Refusing service is just how things are, no specific amendment

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago

    Fair enough!

    I don’t know the exact specifics surrounding the denial of access to bathrooms (ie. if they were private residence, commercial business or public access); but in the case of the first two - even if not necessary- either the 3rd or 4th amendments could be used as grounds to legally refuse entry and/or sue in the event of subsequent unlawful trespass.

    Either way, this entire fiasco is just an amusing sideshow to the otherwise absolute carnage that ICE is attempting to wreak upon US cities.

    I just wish I still had enough faith in the political opposition to be able to hold each and every one of these barbarians (starting with Stephen Miller) to account if/when the current regime collapses in on itself.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    The 3rd talks about quartering soldiers during times of peace, and the administration is making the claim that these cities are in a state of "war."

    Also, forcing a private entity to involuntarily open their facilities to soldiers needs, could still be considered a violation of 3A They may not be sleeping, but using toilet facilities could be considered quartering. That's the sort of thing that would take court precedents to establish, perhaps even the Supreme Court.

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  • [–] 14 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I'd add that they should be identified and not welcome anywhere ever.

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago

    Which is why the cops aren't cooperating. The ICE Jackals will leave town when they are done fucking things up, but these cops will still be here, living among their neighbors, going to church, the grocery store, etc. Imagine what's going to happen to your kids at school, whose Dad helped break up and deport families who had friends and relatives at school?

    No, if I'm a Chicago cop, I'm staying as far away from this mess as possible. Might even be a good time to take a couple of weeks of that PTO I've been saving up.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    Why are you so pro war crimes? ICE having to pee in bottles while trapped in a U-Haul is worse than Gaza. This hate for our troops has no business here!

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