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[–] 191 points 11 months ago (3 children)

"She fucked so many guys"

Uh...okay?

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  • [–] 167 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    I think they’re trying to say that he doesn’t even feel like her backup, he’s her backup x times removed. Which kinda undercuts his point a bit, but does set the stage for a complete removal of attraction and the very particular manic ending they wrote for their story

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  • [–] 67 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    There's something insulting about being the one she wants to settle down with after a bunch of flings etc.

    When's my turn to have fun?

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  • [–] 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)
  • [+] -7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)
  • [–] 48 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    What's toxic about wanting better than being the backup option?

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  • [–] 16 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    Nothing at all, but that last line, "When is my turn to have fun?" Is a bit transactional, like there's an expectation and that's the problematic part.

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  • [+] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 0 points 11 months ago*

    Anon grows and changes in a 5 year span, and his romantic interests change.

    Girls opinion on romance is different in 5 years.

    "I don't want to be the backup."

    Men can grow and change over 5 years. Women? Nah. She just wanted to fuck around and now she's settling.

    This train of thought is some terminally online shit. Then again, complaining that green text is some terminally online shit is insane in its own account.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago

    The toxicity is the weird incel framing around the whole thing. It leans heavily into incel tropes about how women sleep around with physically attractive asshole men when younger and then look for a more stable "nice guy" men when older. The trope is that women will reproduce with asshole gym bro types and then seek relationships with nerds to obtain resources to raise the children they've given birth to. It's the classic cuckhold meme.

    The "backup option" part is the toxic thing. It frames women as farm animals looking for a mate, rather than actual complex human beings with different desires and changing personalities through their whole lives. Aka, just like men. People change, and they want different things at different points in their life.

    It's not that the woman in the story fucked a bunch of guys and then, as a last resort, settled for OP. I mean, just think of how absurd that idea is. It is literally not possible to run out of people to sleep with. They don't think OP is beneath them and have always felt that way, only settling for them now. Why would she need to? There's no shortage of other men out there if she thinks OP is beneath her.

    Rather, people just want different things at different points in their lives. OP didn't tick that box years earlier, but now maybe he does. She wasn't attracted to him then, but she is now. The heart just works that way sometimes. There's no need to add a bunch of incel bullshit to what is easily explainable as the complexities of human emotion.

    The reason this is so toxic is that it's applying this weird bizarre manipulative behavior to the woman in the story - aka parroting incel themes. It accuses her of this deliberate years-long plot, working through a long list of men she finds superior until finally settling for OP. This isn't how human beings actually behave. Instead, she just happened to not be attracted to OP before, but happens to be now. You don't need to go into it any deeper than that. People are complex and their hearts change.

    This "backup option" framing is just really toxic and creepy.

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  • [–] -5 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    Why are you being charitable to a greentext poster lmfao. It's like when the skinhead starts saying dogwhistles and someone is like "well maybe he doesn't know it's a dog whistle".

    Idk man, maybe you've not been exposed to enough 4chan.

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  • [–] 25 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    sure, let's just assume malice or ill intent whenever possible, and forget about any empathy or sympathy.

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  • [–] -3 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Bro. We are talking about a 4chan greentext poster. What more do you want me to fucking say? Are you joking?

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  • [–] 13 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    i'm just tired of internet toxicity tbh. Not as in "Oh no, they laugh about Kirk's assasination", mind you, that shit is actually hillarious, neither i care about anyone's political oriantation as long as they're a decent human being. I'm talking about this unprompted toxic bullshit like "oh, they're using this site, they must be a jerk!". That's literally the same rhetoric that politicians use to create "us vs them" narrative, except they do it on another basis like nationality or whatever.

    Did your day go so wrong that you need to let it all out somehow, but this is the only way you found? Genuinely asking btw

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  • [–] 8 points 11 months ago* (1 child)

    btw, just so you know, thanks to some particularily heated instances over here, i've seen people with opinion just like yours but about the fediverse.

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  • [–] -3 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Let's not act like 4chan has ever been anything but a infamous shithole that attracts shitheads. It has the worst possible reputation: it doesn't attract good people. Sorry. You sound delightful, tho, all your pettiness and pretentiousness aside.

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  • [–] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    so? Is this enough of a reason to spread it further? "Shitheads" aren't exclusive to 4chan, and you're microscopically close to being the live demonstration of this fect.

    I asked you if anything is wrong, because unlike you i don't want to fall into attribution bias and call someone a bad person simply because they behave like a jerk, everyone has bad days. Yet, you insist on keeying your way of thought, which is actually shitty and loathsome.

    I hope you exert this behaviour because you're just a spoiled edgy child, and not because you're so utterly fucked up by life that you actually became this hateful and bitter.

    please don't be like this and take care <3

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  • [–] -5 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I just don't even know what to say to you. Do you understand that you are being the shithead? You're actively insulting me while all I'm pointing out is that incel-adjacent language being used in a notorious incel/extremist breeding ground is highly suspect? Jesus. Reread your post and realize that you are massively projecting onto me.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I just don't even know what to say to you. Do you understand that you are being the shithead?

    Going to chime in here to say you're definitely the shithead here.

    Are you're one of the people that came to the fediverse because your Reddit account was banned?

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  • [+] -1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I'm not defending anyone. This story being made up is entirely possible. What I'm bothered by, and what i don't want to let slide is the fact that people just assume malice from a person simply because they made a post on a certain website and not the on the other one around. It's a scary tendency that, if extrapolated, makes internet into a place full of tribalism and hostility.

    Also, you gotta explain to me, how the post is an example of toxic masculinity, and exactly what archetype do i defend from your point of view.

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  • [+] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (1 child)

    when you put it like this, it does sound fucked up. In the context of the post tho, percieved it more like the anon is telling that she's so uninterested in him that during all the time they known each other, she found a dozen of other sexual / romantic partners, without ever considering him as one, despite knowing he was into her, conciously manupulating him into staying, to keep him as a last resort.

    Surely, it wasn't put in words form in the nicest way possible, and if your interpretation is correct, he's far from a decent human being, but i can't say i have a much better impression about the girl in question either.

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  • [+] 1 point 11 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    i mean, of course. But i doubt the girl will step in and tell us her point of view. I'm judging this post purely as a work of fiction at face value, and not like the two of them are real humans I'm aquainted with.

    And yes, i agree that saying what he said is fucked up, but i can't tell, whether he said it out of frustration or because he's a mysoginist.

    I guess i just feel upset whenever i see garbage people, so i assume the better case whenever possible to retain my faith in humanity. Sorry about that.

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