I've had a 'Feet first into hell' or a 'Fuck it, we ball' mentality since like my second year of high school. It sort of developed from initially getting dragged into the drama, debate, and forensics (oration) club and getting thrown in the deep end of the field of debate and eventually developing my skills at spontaneous commentary oration (glorified bullshitting) and through just years of having to do public speaking I've gotten over being an introvert wallflower. On the physical side, I've been run down into abject physical misery several times and had to push through to keep going. That gave me a sort of brain shut-off switch thats like running on an automated machine to to as its told such as jumping off towers or out plane doors, zipping straight down wire lines in almost-freefall, letting myself get drowned like a rat in a metal cage, etc. I guess this isn't very helpful advice now that I think of jt.