I'd approached this very subject in therapy. My problem was being worried about my standards, because I've been looking for something so very specific in a partner, that even my therapist was surprised that I managed to find people who fit the bill. But my therapist highlighted that I did, indeed, manage to have several partners who matched my intent during the almost two decades since I've started doing this whole Relationship™ deal, and I'm a weird fucker looking for likewise weird fuckers!

@Whostosay is 100% correct. There are over 8 billion (edit: to highlight billion - BILLION! Can you even picture that amount?! I sure as hell can't, can barely conceptualise millions!) individuals on this planet at the moment, and humanity isn't THAT creative for there to be no common ground between us. It's statistically improbable for there to not be at least someone who matches you. Sure, it may take a long while to find such people if your standards are very specific (I usually spend several years solo between partners due to this, plus I don't do hook-ups, one-night-stands or fwb stuff because they do nothing for me), but there ARE people out there who fit the bill.

Take a chance! Go out into the world and shoot your shot! Post a "seeking partner" post online, be honest and specific, go on dating apps with the specific intent of looking for who YOU want and stop focusing on a high-score! Like, what the hell do you have to lose, y'know? Just be 100% honest about it, both with yourself and potential interests! Are you socially awkward and anxious? Then TELL THEM! Worst case scenario, they'll react like a sociopathic douchebag with zero empathy, in which case they will have dodged that bullet for you! But the best case scenario is that they'll be able to empathise and will see that you are a human being with a heart, with thoughts and feelings, and they'll not only appreciate your honesty, but they may even find your awkwardness comforting and endearing (the only people who have zero doubts about anything are those who are lying to themselves and to everyone around them).

And in the meantime, have fun! Pick up hobbies, read random books, spend hours topic-jumping on the internet, develop weird fixations, go for long walks, whatever! Keep busy and live your life!

P.S.: and before anyone thinks I'm just a confident person, I have news for you: I even second-guess the way I wipe my ass. But I just... get over it! I don't know how else to put this, accept your doubts, accept that they're there, then do it anyway! Maybe you'll fuck up, but then you'll have earnt a good life lesson if you look at it with honesty!

I would argue the reverse is also true. There were famous people with intimate relationships that have very unfulfilling lives.

My assumption would be many of the people you're referencing are/were either on the aro/ace spectrum or simply closeted homosexuals.

Most people desire intimacy, and will experience some amount of discomfort/distress from a prolonged lack of intimacy. See also "touch-starved." It is also perfectly normal for individuals to find themselves on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, where they may either not need intimacy or may even find displeasure/discomfort/distress when engaging in intimacy for another's sake. These are things that are important to keep in mind when discussing other's needs and desires or lack thereof

No debate there but I don't think you can extend that truth into suggesting that everyone could just as easily be fulfilled if they just "focus their energy on other aspects of their lives".

We're talking about relationships, not sex. They're related, but not the same. You can have a romantic, intimate relationship without sex. Sex is not required for fulfilling relationships, and it can often ruin them.

Humans are social creatures and usually find more satisfaction with a good relationship than without one. Most who say they don't are either lying (copium) or have only had bad relationships.

You realize most people aren't asexual, right?

You are not wrong to not care about sex and romantic relationships. If that is how you are happy. And I mean truly happy. Not lying to yourself because the grapes are sour anyways. Then there is nothing wrong with it. We are all wired In different way and enjoy different things.

Having said that, you are the minority.

Humans by design seek sex and romantic intimacy. The vast majority of people place a lot of importance on it. It's not just about the physical act or the pleasure of it, it's the intimacy, the trust, the closeness. It's being able to be truly exposed and vulnerable, and having your partner be just as exposed and vulnerable. It's being able to give pleasure and accept pleasure. Our brains become flooded with feel good chemicals. Humans are typically wired to want sex.

My point is, no one should judge you or look down on you for living the way you want. Some people will, but they are ass hats and you should ignore them. But In the same way you should understand that most people get A LOT out of sex, especially good sex.

I guess to me, wanting sex/romance feels so manufactured.

I get what you mean. I guess everybody's sexual desires are different. To me, it's an artform.

Sexuality, if done right, connects people. People want to impress their crush so they come up with creative ideas, and that can turn into an artform. Also it can connect people in more intimate ways than is possible during work-related settings.

ok sorry for having written such a sharply-tongued comment :) i just tend to do that, don't take it too personal

yeah, capitalist propaganda that we all have to work hard. i know that one.