[advice needed post] i asked out a friend. I don't think they understand that this is something I did with romantic and not platonic intent. How do I make that clear? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I asked out a friend of mine who I've been trying to ask out for a while now to grab coffee next week. They said yes but I don't think they got the more than platonic intentions I had, they seem kind of oblivious to it (or are just hiding it well). I can't flirt if my life depended on it, how can I convey my romantic intent without just... saying it outright?

idk if I'm giving enough context or detail here but feel free to ask if you need

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[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Depends on when OP next sees them IRL, at the date or otherwise. If it's the date next, then getting it out first gives the other person a chance to decline or confirm, if it's sprung up in-person that gives them 0 agency.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

i feel like the vibes will be clearer IRL tho, is it flirty? is it strictly friendly? are small flirtatious comments or gestures engaged with or do they slip by? is there a lot of eye contact? are they primping their appearance, smoothing clothes, fixing hair? are eyes wandering or is there talk about each other's bodies? is the prospect of hanging out longer/again enthusiastic or do they already have plans after? does the other person talk about someone else they are interested in or dating? and if that stuff turns out to be absent they can still just have a nice time together, tho it definitely does sting

i guess the op is saying she doesn't feel confident in her game but i feel like all of the above is lost over text. that's just how i operate tho, i'm too old for texting lol

not intending to argue with u at all btw just relishing in the tea and love hearing other people's approach to courtship

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Haha, I certainly would have agreed had the date not already been set. If OP can see them again beforehand, you're correct, but springing it at the date is more awkward, plus they may want to get ready differently if they know it's a romantic date.

this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025

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