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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Not the PLA either... amerikkka

Made a new account to hopefully minimize self-doxing, but here's some background. I haven't lived with him in 10 years and I left the country 4 years ago. We don't really talk all that often, but he had messaged me with some questions about photography and then brought it up.

I said something like "I'm sure you're aware I don't have a very fond opinion of the military". He said "I'm not too enthused with the idea either, but I need the security and discipline that it will provide while I try to find something to dedicate myself to and I've been in this dead end job for about 2 years and my soul is decaying".

I told him he can come live with me, that it's easy to get a 1 year visa and I'd happily pay for flights and I have a spare room. He said he'd think about it but "needs physical activity and more friends and connection in general". I tried to explain that I go climbing multiple days a week, volunteer for search and rescue, and play board games with friends every week that he'd be able to hang out with.

I get the impression though that he thinks visiting would just be putting his problems on hold for a year; maybe he's right about that, but I think living somewhere other than our shit hometown would give him a lot of perspective on the world and help him maybe realize that what he actually needs is a community of some kind. I don't want him to make a huge fucking mistake because he feels hopeless and gets pressured into it by our conservative step dad or some recruiter or whatever.

I also briefly tried explaining some issues with the US military, but it's a bit hard to undo decades of american "education" in one conversation. He said "my moral code is also not nearly as strong as yours, and I have very little strong feelings toward very much at all outside of just trying to be a good person". I assume he reached out to me because he's having some doubts.

Anyway I tried to make it super clear that if he wanted to come live with me or if he wanted to do a work visa somewhere else I'd pay flights and anything else and help in any way I can; I'm not rich, but I have a small emergency savings.

I think I've heard there are organizations of leftist / anti-imperialist veterans? Maybe one of them has information I could send him. Any advice or ideas would be appreciated.

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[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Is university not an option? All the things he is looking for can be found there, there's a decent amount of money to be gotten just for going, and worse case scenario some debt that gets deferred for years isn't the end of the world. If he doesn't have a degree he could make the most of it by starting with community college before transferring to a four year, and if he does he could do graduate school

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

He tried doing a bit of online community college, but it didn't go very well. I think a combination of not knowing what to do with his life and being depressed from being stuck in a pretty shit home environment. I'm hoping I can convince him to come live with me for a bit or at least give him some option to move out and maybe in that time he'll be able to think more clearly about what he'd like to be doing.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

You sound like your company would be really good for him and you're a good sibling for looking for any options to steer him clear of this. Whatever happens you definitely tried.

this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2025
64 points (100.0% liked)

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