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The more you need help, the less likely society is to be willing to help you. (www.youtube.com)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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I can't find a link for it but I remember an article where they got a dishevelled, homeless looking man to go into restaurants and ask for leftover food. He was rudely turned away every time. Then they got a man dressed in a smart, expensive business suit to go into the same restaurants and ask for free food (saying he'd lost his job/forgotten his credit card or whatever). He was treated politely and given free food every time.

The link above is to a youtube video, in which an able bodied woman asks for help zipping up her dress and people help her. But when a disabled woman asks for help doing up her buttons, people refuse.

You see the same thing with millionaire celebrities being given free things while poor people are refused the basics of life.

Why is human society like this?

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I also struggle with this mentality. When I do introspection, I find the following thought patterns:

  • Not wanting a hassle, as you mentioned (risk aversion, lack of self-confidence)
  • Constant messaging by society and parents that I can be taken advantage of and to mind my own business (individualism).
  • Knowing that someone or a cause needs much more help than I can provide, like you also said, so any amount of help I give feels like a pittance and I feel guilty. ("letting perfect be the enemy of good")
  • Knowing that many people or causes need money but I can't help all, so any choice I make feels random or biased to the most sympathetic.
  • Getting a sense that the only moral thing to do then is to give up my relatively well-off existence to charity, mutual aid etc. and me not wanting to keep money for myself is selfish and "treatler-brained".
  • Rather than accept the imperfect, I avoid the matter altogether and try excuses like: "I don't have cash on me right now, sorry"
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2025
106 points (100.0% liked)

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