“everyone’s punching up” ignores the influence of personality and compatibility though

I don't intend to create a mathematical model of the whole of dating in a single post. Punching up isn't just on looks, it's on everything. Emotional, social, psychological, physical and familial baggage all count.

There is, of course, room for compatibility. People need to find people who enjoy doing things together, but the masses out there who can't find someone can't all just be waiting on someone who likes to play certain types of games. Find a reasonably workable person that is willing to accept you, if you hit it off, they'll come around to do the things you do to spend time with you.