Was male at the time, I'm still transitioning. I was almost a complete social outcast, spending all my time reading and on the internet. It's easy to hate, when you feel so hated. So isolated. It seemed like everyone was dating someone, like you were worth less than others if you weren't. Friend zone memes were trendy at the time, they made it out like it was women's fault you were alone. Luckily, I had the self awareness to keep in mind it's not like I ever tried. How could I blame someone for a nonexistent rejection? Still horribly fucked up socially resenting and hating people but I never developed the entitlement and hatred of women for (the delusion) of it being their fault I was aingle and isolated that really makes an incel an incel. I got more socially well adjusted and college was so much better but middle school and high school were hell. I still... have issues when it comes to dating and intimacy, truthfully I don't think it's ever something I'm going to be ok with. But, it's something I'm not ok with, not something that I'm incapable of, which might seem like a pointless distinction but makes a world of difference.