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submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Inspirational credit to [email protected] for their Blazin' Bev snail reference, which reminded me of that weird meme from the bad place about an immortal snail whose touch meant instant death.

ST: First Contact

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

I feel that with transporters, the whole thing falls apart.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

"Snail to Enterprise. One to beam up."

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

"...so of the snail touches you then you die instantly. Any questions?

Obrien: Can we put the snail in pattern buffers?

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

"No"

"Then follow-up question: what do I do with the snails that I already put in the pattern buffer?"

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Oh dear. Once you pop... you cannot stop!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

If you subscribe to the idea that the transporter is a murder machine that kills the entity being transported only to reassemble a new one at the other end, would that mean that all you'd be doing is making more copies of the snail?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

You mean makes the immortal snail hypothetical easier or harder? Because, on one hand, yeah the snail could potentially catch a ride on the beam but on the other hand you can travel almost literally anywhere in mere moments.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Its actually a trick question, because the instant you step onto the transporter pad and beam out you die, making the snails chase moot.

Beat the "immortal snail is chasing you forever by vaporizing your body into data and having a new clone of you made elsewhere" with this one weird trick.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

But if you undo the curse like that doesn't it also undo the immortality part?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Of course, but you're already immortal in a TNG world. Transporters can easily modify your body to give you eternal youth, and of course cure any disease or injury. Just make sure your brainwaves/synapses are updated in near real time and refresh the rest of the body daily.

Why no one actually opts for it is beyond me.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

(This, coming from the Picard golem)

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

It's all fun and games until you survive atomization and slowly reassemble yourself for centuries.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

The real snails were the transporter deaths we met along the way.

this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
128 points (99.2% liked)

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