Also, I'd really like to know who made the art. I've tried reverse image search and it just comes back to this meme.
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
You answer back and keep referring to them as Kevin (if his name isn't Kevin) and just make up a bunch of stuff telling him that his family want him to come home, his wife and three children haven't seen him in three years since the day they took him to the asylum for accidently killing his brother in that chainsaw accident.
i know you're joking but please do not do that. depending on the dose, timing, and the person, they could actually believe that, and believing delusions is incredibly dangerous, you could accidently trigger a psychotic episode