this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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Lemmy Be Wholesome
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I mostly find the framing tiresome. It's a sort of learned helplessness.
It's trying to frame life as something one is only "correctly" handling if everything is planned out in the tiniest detail. Anyone trying to do anything of the slightest complexity knows that's not a good way to manage tasks.
Of course, if one goes through life imagining that what one should be doing is being an adult with a plan of infinite complexity and anything less is "pretending" (or "winging it", or whatever) then it's easy to keep the infantilising personal narrative going. "I'm not a real grown-up" and shit like that.
Defining a "real grown up" as a hyper-competent person found only in fiction or through the eyes of a young child then yeah, we're all making it up as we go. But given that's a bloody stupid standard, I think we can all be a little nicer to ourselves.
I think of it more like the classic half full or half empty glass, but with a little extra twist.
The first is funny, but it's a poor excuse to avoid responsibility and accepting that nothing gets done. The second is better, but it can dangerous if it over promotes self confidence.
It's a saying that pops into my head whenever I have the option to take responsibility for something. It's okay to "fake it till you make" if the alternative is worse .
More often than not, taking responsibility for stuff I only barely know about has given me a much better understanding about it than just sitting back and letting some other person half-ass it. It's very rare that anyone knows everything in advance, and I'd be very cautious when someone claims that they do.
Anyway, this joke has sometimes helped me in those leap of faith situations and it has lead to a positive experience everytime.