That laptop is no longer a laptop, it is a bomb.
Transcript
A photo of an extremely swollen HP laptop. The panels are kept on with clips. The caption says: "User calls about disc being stuck in another computer, mentions off hand about this laptop. They'd been using it like this for weeks...
How would one safely discharge a swollen battery? Just letting the computer run?
Yup. Run it until it shuts down, then power it up into BIOS/EFI until there’s no more sign of life. Turing up screen brightness and streaming video over WiFi will speed things up if you’re in a hurry.