cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29745932
Thats just this entire community
this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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Autism
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I'd say people should not be allowed to complain on behalf of a community, period.
We should normalize complaining about your own feelings being hurt, borders crossed or whatever.
One reason we have this problem is because we tell people to suck it up all the time. People dont need to suck it up, you need to grow some empathy, john.
Okay but some people might not be comfortable speaking out about it themselves. I don't think I, a white guy, "shouldn't be allowed to complain" if I hear a coworker use the N word, or using some terms that are extremely derogatory towards women. You could argue that's complaining on behalf of a community, even one I'm not part of.
I agree that we should normalize being more open with when borders are crossed but some people aren't comfortable with that (probably because people have been jerks about it before). But those people might still be hurt by that kind of language.
There's a lot of nuance on this whole topic.
I'll make an exception for things that negatively impact a lot of people.
This just boils down to "don't disucuss social power dynamics" at some point, though, and that's how social power dynamics remain unchallenged, and only ever evolve towards reinforcing the social hegemony.
People need to be able to criticise others' words and actions when they perpetuate injustice, regardless of whether they are a part of the affected minority, and this criticism should not be viewed through the lens of taking offence.
One can criticise without being personally offended.
I think it boils down to avoiding broad language like all and always. When talking about Autism and Autism related struggles present it from your own personal view.
"I have always struggled with X, maybe some of you can relate. Here is what helps me"