this post was submitted on 14 May 2025
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Lol. You realize this is not possible?
What a horrible thing to say and such a low-effort, disrespectful way to say it. Absolutely you can work to at least lower the severity of issues. Yes, some people will still find fault but that’s on them and if you choose to be a shitty person because “they’ll just get mad anyway”, or whatever other excuse you may find, that’s still on you.
In what way is it impossible to not cause problems?
Exactly how you described: whatever my action, it will become a problem for someone at some point of time. I can control my intent, I can choose to minimise negative impact for arbitrary receivers and time scale, but there is no such thing as not causing problems, unless we choose the "problems is only attitude, so no such thing as problems at all" standpoint
Is there any way we can nail down your point a little better? It feels a little scattered.
You start by saying that [nearly] everyone in the thread is wrong while talking about society as a whole can’t “fix” people with trauma. And then go after psychatrists for some reason, I guess because that would be society fixing them? All the OP said was that people with a lot of trauma can’t be responsible for helping other people pretend that everything is fine. I’m not sure I’m confident enough that I can see the link you’re trying to make.
And then the way you’re going about saying that not being able to avoid conflict entirely is impossible makes it sound like you’re against even trying? And bud, my patience is also in the pits but I still try to do something, if not for other people’s sake then at least for my own.
As someone who has been angry and bitter, and who is constantly “wrong” in the eyes of general, neurotypical society I think I understand where you’re coming from to a degree but I’m missing specifics enough to flesh out this conversation.
Thank you for asking:)
I came when there were like nine or so comments, most going like this: "oh, so you are for assholes hiding them being assholes behind their past trauma? What a shitty take". Hence my first comment, which in a boring language would have been this: spending a lot of time in a state where one cannot be comfortable for other people is damn expected, because there is virtually no network in place to help them recover. Good psychiatrists could be at least some means for that end, but alas, even they are scarce.
As for the conflict - yes, only a fool can think it can always be avoided. So it is better to accept that you will be conflicting with others and look for better and more sensible ways to act.
Now, after two denials (no, don't you dare to label everyone as just an asshole justifying their actions by their past and no, trying to not cause problems is not going to land you or anyone near you in any good spot), I feel like also sharing something that is actually what I am for: with all this causing/not causing problems bullshit dropped, only one questions remains: if this is the last thing I will ever do, am I still willing to do it? This is how I choose my actions
"Being shitty and lashing out is just who I am"
Thanks for pretending I said something I actually did not. Good luck and fuck yourself
You're welcome for saying the part you refused to say.
You're responsible for your actions.