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Happy Mothers Day to everyone.
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 11 May 2025
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Different experience for me. My mum was a lovely person who never pressured me into anything, and in retrospect I wish she had, just a tiny bit more.
She asked for example if I wanted to learn an instrument - and I said no, and she respected that and didn't push. The truth is that I'd have actually loved to, but I was afraid of failing, and scared to start.
Now in my late thirties I finally bought an electric piano and started learning.
I don't blame my mum at all, but I guess my point is that kids will very often say "no" to things, because no is the easy answer. If she'd said instead "try a couple of lessons, and if you don't enjoy it you can stop" then the outcome would have been quite different.
Music in particular I would kind of consider an exception, just because of the benefits of giving early musical education can help so much with acquiring the "language" while the brain is still in sponge mode, 4 to 10 years old.
If you're forcing your teenager to work at it day and night and to go to the conservatory etc, that's a different story.
My parents were rather strict with the music lessons, which I did sometimes resent at the time. These days I'm grateful as I couldn't imagine not being able to just play the music that's in my head. My parents a little less so, as they have heard "enough Prokofiev for a lifetime", and my polyrhythms make them feel like they have a "heart attack".
They reap what they sow muahahaha.
Holy shit are you me? Cause this. Things would get slightly tough, they'd ask if I still wanted to do (x) where that's gymnastics, choir, etc. I'd say yes I want to quit cause I'm a kid, and then we just stopped. I have no idea what I want to exist.
My parents let me be interested in things, but they would absolutely force me to finish things until their period ended, or force me to do at least another year of the activity. So I did a season of soccer before I realised I hated it and only liked softball, and I was thankfully forced to do another year of orchestra in 6th grade, making me realize I loved it and wanted to continue instead of dropping.
I was forced to keep doing dance another 2 years despite hating it by the end unfortunately, but I'm not too upset by that.
OK but if she actually believed you didn't want to do it, she did right by not pushing it.
Parents need to figure out when their kids say no because they are nervous and when they say no because they mean no. Ignoring your wishes everytime is not the way to go.
Yep, which is exactly why I said that I don't blame her at all. She did what she thought was right.