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this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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Relationship Advice
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30 - 9 = 21 which is the MLDA in the US (presumably you’re American?). You say elsewhere her father had issues with alcohol.
Break ups are never about just one thing but there’s usually a catalyst. Whether you drink too much or not is really your business but it sounds like you too realized you shouldn’t be together. I might be way off base but I’m thinking age and time are a big factor here, maybe some growing apart.
Even if only one of you was certain you wanted to divorce when the relationship is done for one it’s done for all. You need to figure out how to work through and process the end of your relationship. It sounds like you haven’t done that, instead expecting things to go on pretty much the same for you, except just without your ex. That’s not how it works.
If you can’t untangle the ‘us’ and find your way back to ‘you’ in the same town then space might help but if you don’t actually work through and process the end of your relationship moving won’t help. You’ll just be lonely and miserable in a new and unfamiliar place.