My go to whenever I hear any kind of bump in the night is to grab something that can be used as a weapon and make sure I'm completely naked.

In the infinitesimally small chance it's some kind of spirit or ghoul I will try to fuck it, b cause it's what it would least expect. If it's a human intruder I will attack it, and I just assume that the shock of seeing a nearly 40 year old fully nude dad bod coming at them screaming and brandishing a weapon will create a moment of confusion that I can use to my advantage.