neurodiverse
What is Neurodivergence?
It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
Rules
1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them
2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence
2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals
3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.
3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith
4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!
Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input
RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed
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Putting it up front that I'm neurotypical so if this advice/lived experience isn't helpful to you I apologize. Just trying to help out a fellow comrade deal with neurotypicals.
Familiarity is a major component of it- just being present consistently at a place around the same group of people in an area of shared interest. There will be functions you attend that will have groups actively looking to include new people and ones who really aren't. You may just unfortunately be running into more of the second type of group in recent hobby group experiences.
Asking groups if they mind if you join in even if they seem somewhat closed-off initially may be a route in- a lot of neurotypicals in established or semi-established group setting may not consciously be thinking to add people into their activities but would welcome at least letting someone participate if approached.
Generally in settings with pre-established groups where you're the outsider really taking an active-listening role and just feeling out the relationship between members of the group is a good way to begin to learn the dynamics. Also you don't necessarily need to be (and likely don't want to be initially) an extremely active speaking member in this scenario since the interplay between existing members is a part of the existing group dynamic that no one will have a great feel for when meeting people who already know each other early on. Perhaps at first just try enjoying being a part of the activity with the group and not taking an especially social (speaking) role if you haven't participated as a member in the group context many times before.
Also be looking for individual(s) who seem more open to trying to get your input/participation when you find yourself in group dynamics. At least in my life I try to provide a sort of on-ramp to conversation/group inclusion when new people are trying to test out the waters of pre-established group dynamics. It doesn't necessarily mean that I am trying to become a close friend to anyone in particular, but I (and a hopeful person filling this role you can hopefully identify) am the person trying to help both you feel out if this group is a good fit for you and the group to see if it feels you're a good fit for it. In my experience I do this in a few ways: explicitly asking the new person for their thoughts/participation in said thing, ensuring that in-jokes/referenced stories are explained/retold so that the new person feels included in the meta-conversation, and usually at the end kinda just singling new people out and thanking them for joining us I'm whatever we were all doing if I feel I personally or the group enjoyed having them participate. Don't assume not getting this acknowledgement at the end means they didn't like you- it might just not be something they do in the way that I do.
I also want to say that I'm sorry things seem to not be going the way you've hoped they would lately with putting yourself out there. That sucks and is a rough feeling for me. Hopefully maybe something I've said may assist with assessing group dynamics and I wish it were as easy as everyone being explicitly up-front with each other to identify mutual interests and companionship.
If you're willing to share some of the hobby groups that may be helpful too.
I also want to say that I am coming at this in as good of faith as I possibly can as a neurotypical, and if I've said something offensive please let me know so I can correct that behavior in the future as the last thing I'd want is to hurt a comrade reaching out.
I'm also willing to answer kind of any question you or others may have if you think my further input may be useful.
Well, the main type of hobby groups is social dancing. The thing that's hard there though is that I also want to balance the dancing and socializing, so I can't be completely absorbed in a group conversation during it, and I think that's how most people think. But I see people who met from there post photos of themselves hanging out together, some of whom are even newer than I am. I also sometimes overhear them talk about the thing they're going to I'm not invited to. So I know people make friends there.
I do try to make newer people feel welcomed by asking as many new people to dance as possible. But those always seem to drift away.