this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
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There was a blog by the creator of OKcupid, which was available on the site, that laid all this out pretty clearly. Something like 80% of the women were after 20% of the men, or perhaps it was even worse than that.
Women also, on average, rated men something like 1.5/5, whereas the average for men rating women was almost exactly 3/5.
It was a pretty depressing read actually.
You have to also look at the fact that men outnumber women on the app overall. It's about 65% men, so women are going to have a bigger pool to reject from. And while it is true that women rate men less attractive, they also put less value on their apperence overall as a factor in dating. It also came out that this was based off of first glance only with no review of the profiles attached to them and, when looking at overall trends, it's more even, (outside of men tending to like young women regardless of their age).
I think the okcupid data also went on about how certain races get more or less attention as well. At the end of the day, both sides can be picky. I think people like to push that data to help with the "80/20" idea to help push this idea that men are now being unfairly judged in comparison to women to help with the gender war narrative.
Edit: Just wanted to add that I don't think that means dating isn't hard for men, but I just don't believe dating websites to be a reflection of real life.
The racial data was also fascinating, Asian men and black women were shit outta luck, from memory.
This says more about how women are socially pressured to wear make up, dress well, wax, and de-age themselves or risk being labeled as 'unwomanly' or become irrelevant.
How many men do you know feel pressured to put the same effort into their appearances as the average woman does?
And don't tell me how working out counts. One, there are zero health benefits to putting on make up. Two, women are incessantly reminded about losing weight rather than just be healthy whether it's from the media, advertisements, or just people using 'fat' as an insult especially for middle aged women.
How often do you hear old women being complimented on their appearances compared to old men? Forget about appearances, how often are they relevant in conversations? Invisible Woman Syndrome is almost like a super power.
This is like the opposite of when people complain that when ever anyone tries to talk about women issues, men have to suddenly make it about them. I don’t know why this has to be a zero sum event here.