electoralism

No options? Have you tried tripping him down some stairs? Maybe letting him outside into a stiff wind? Perhaps coughing in his general direction? You could consider clumsily falling into him like a big oaf and landing on top of him! Have you attempted to increase the resistance on the stationary bike he uses in the gym? Try going on a fishing trip where you manage to forget the life vests and while on the water discover a wasp in your jacket, causing you to flail around until the boat comically capsizes, leaving you both in the water in the middle of the lake while the boat slowly sinks and you both have to swim back to shore. There is always the option of summoning a series of three ghosts to his bedroom on the eve of a major holiday, wherein they each take turns showing him the errors of his ways and how his actions both in the past and present will lead to a future where his only legacy is one of complete and utter disdain by every day people who only celebrate his passing due to natural causes and old age as a benefit to them and the world, a future which he could change if instead of enriching himself by exploiting some of the most vulnerable members of global society he turned to charity and advocacy for those same people, expressing true compassion and love for all gods creatures, leading by example through giving instead of taking. Have you tried turning off and not turning him back on again?