this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2025
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Today I Learned

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Research indicates that individuals with ASD are more likely to experience gender dysphoria, and vice versa.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (2 children)

Interesting. As someone with autism I can definitely say that I don't feel others pain directly like it was my own.

Is this actually what others feel? The concept of that makes no sense to me. Does it really feel exactly the same as if your own, the pain is not a concept?

My experience is that I empathize by understanding. I learn about different people's experiences and am interested in philosophy and ethics. I have been through a lot of trauma myself.

I can then extrapolate all of that and empathize with how others feel, and the struggles they have. Often I find myself in situations where I am upset by people's callousness but nobody else seems to care. It's only when it affects them emotionally that they take interest, and then they seem to become unstable and act out in harmful ways that might not fit the situation.

My perspective does not feel like a robot high level logic. The empathy is immediately felt but there is an understanding behind it and separation from self. The sense of self is very weak if there at all. I often feel separated from my own physical pain and sensations.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Yes, I literally feel the pain of others. Not as though it happened to me but enough to wince if I see most animals get hurt (aside from insects).

I'm more sensitive than normal though. Hyper-awareness from abuse. It's also isolating and lonely, even though I'm not on the spectrum.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

This makes sense. Experiential understanding

But to clarify the logic doesn’t need to be super high level. “High level” in my post just meaning it’s a higher level process oriented to using logic at all, versus something more akin to a “going with your gut”, if that makes sense?

I do hope you can find people who will empathize with you in ways that are not so transactional though. Maybe that’s not possible. Life is give and take I suppose. Maybe instead it’s about finding people who have the right balance of that? I dunno but at a minimum you deserve to have people care about your frustration, at least sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

No worries I understand what you meant. I should probably also clarify that I intended that part for other readers.

I know that there is a stereotype that autistic thinking is some kind of high level robotic empathy. It doesn't feel like that for me at least. Instead of feeling a physical or emotional pain it's an immediate pull and understanding towards kindness, fairness and easing suffering.

Did I understand your post correctly that people do feel a physical pain response to others suffering? Somehow I made it to middle aged and never realized that if so. Thanks for the post, definitely one of the best I have ever seen and gives me a missing piece to reflect on. Which I will probably use later on to empathize with others who process empathy differently lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

Well that certainly boosts my ego, thanks

Wrt pain response it varies. Some people do describe actually “feeling” the pain of others, read on “empathetic distress” for more on this. It’s less common but is interesting; in some people when they empathize with someone experiencing something like physical pain there is activation of areas of the brain that process physical pain (insula and anterior cingulate cortex) in addition to showing physiological response consistent with pain (tachycardia, perspiration, wincing, etc)

It could be performative but the neurological activation can’t really be faked and the physiological responses can be challenging to fake. Additionally there is variability in response and behavioral indicators like attempting to render aid which are somewhat inconsistent with performative acts (though not definitively so)