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Learned the person I consider my closest friend doesn't consider me theirs (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I posted a day or 2 ago about me and my friend going through it a bit. To sum up: The situation is largely resolved, we had a long in-depth talk about things and cleared the air, we're still close friends.

It's just that, during the course of our conversation I told him he's my closest friend and asked if I was his...and he said no. He said I was close, but not the closest.

I didn't ask who was, though I think I know. And if that person is indeed the one, I suppose I get it. He lost his mom and my friend helped him through it, and few things bring people closer than overcoming tragedy, which our friendship has largely been free of. This person is a good guy.

I know it seems petty, and I'm trying not to let it bother me, but ngl, no matter how much I try to logic it away in my mind: It hurts.

It hurts to know I'm no one's #1 friend, and maybe no one's #1 anything.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Over the past few years I've been kind of on the other side of this, where a friend of mine was at least one "tier" more emotionally reliant on me than I was on him. It made the social relationship a little bit unbalanced, but I didn't want to spell it out to him. Fortunately he's reaching a place in life where he can finally branch out the way he's always wanted to.

It's been well over 10 years since I even had a "best friend-group". I have my strings in many pockets, and that's okay.