I'll do you better, and someone out there may know it's me.

I once was in a river,

downstream from many givers,

and then began to shiver...

I felt a slide go past my liver.

There I was alone;

the house far, and across stone;

and my south began to groan;

from my lips I droned, "oh no."

I tried to climb the rise,`

while tightly clamping thighs,

but as I soon surmised,

I couldn't hold the surprise.

All the river floaters watched,

as my privacy I botched,

there right upon the stony swatch,

what horror flowed right from my crotch.